All work and no play....

To do today: write out my intentions.

It seems funny to me while I'm writing this down but I feel lost and wondered if I made and wrote down an intention, would it send me on my way? My art studio, still locked down has me locked down at times too.

When I start a painting or a project I have an end goal; an intention.

During the Covid crisis, the lock down, the quarantine, the stay-at-home safe-at-home orders feel as though I have no control over the end game. Everything is different, a new normal, new regulations, best practices in a world where I thought I was already practicing at my best. I'm feeling lost like I've been blindfolded and placed in a maze to wander around feeling my way from dead-end to which-way-do-I-go without the foresight of an end game.

And I'm not having fun.

Alone, as a child, I liked to paint. I would just make and see how it went. My art teacher used the fail method of teaching; do it, fail, do it again. There were successes I enjoyed and failures I did not but the curiosity brought me back to try again. I remember exploring with paint; did you know that black and yellow makes green? A little red with a little orange and some white makes peach! A little of everything makes brown, unintentionally of course. It was fun and it was not.

Together, with my brothers and sisters as children, we would make fun with whatever we had around and we would play. If we won a game or lost a game the celebration or the disappointment would come and then it would go. This led us to the next thing we were going to do and it went on all day like that. Neither happy or unhappy stuck for long. Our childhood fun came and went while we were playing with no end game in sight.

OK, for some of them it was to win at the end, but that was only in competitive play and they moved the end of the game in favor to win anyway(a subject for another post!). For all other play with bikes, pool, our 'town' in the woods just to name a fraction of sources there was no end game and the result afterwards was just what it was.

It was just a day in the life.

There were days we fell off the bike, were grounded from the pool, or no one visited us in our 'house' in our 'town' in the woods and it was still just what it was.

Unintentional injury, Unintentional grounding(at least on my part), unintentional disappointment, but also unintentional exploration, unintentional bonding relationships, unintentional learning.

Unintentional what? while intentionally having fun?

To do today: discover, explore, relate, dream, play...with intention.

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